Hangover Cures I Will Be Trying
Puerto Rican citrus deodorant- Puerto Ricans supposedly rub a slice of lemon (or lime) into the armpit of their drinking arm. It is supposed to prevents dehydration.
River sand- Irish legend says to bury the ailing person up to their neck in wet river sand. Cool, no prob.
Sweat spit- Some Native American cultures believe that you should work up a sweat, then lick the sweat off your arms, swish it around and spit it out.
Haitian voodoo- Haitian drunks recommend sticking 13 black pins in the cork of the offending bottle.
Prairie Oyster- A Western U.S. remedy with many variations but all include Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, salt n’ pepper, and a whole raw egg. Optional ingredients include a shot of vodka, ketchup or tomato juice, and vinegar. DELISH
Katerfruhstuck- That’s German for “hangover breakfast.” Do you know what Germans call a hangover? Katzenjammer, which, is already a cool word as is, but then add that it literally means “wailing of the cats,” and GO GERMANY. That’s what I was thinking until I found out what the hangover breakfast actually is. Raw, pickled herring wrapped around pieces of gherkin and onion. Ugh Germany, you do really mean things.
Namibian Buffalo milk- Namibians drink “buffalo milk” when hungover, which is actually just a delicious sounding alcoholic milkshake made of clotted cream, dark rum, spiced rum, cream liqueur, and whole cream. I’m down.
Canadian poutine- Canadians also eat this at like every meal but whatever, fine, gravy covered fries does sound like a good research topic so I will allow it. Thick-cut french fries with chunks of cheese curd and smothered in fresh peppercorn gravy.
Deep fried canary- Pliny the Elder advised ancient Romans to casually deep fry a canary and eat it. Make sure to eat the bones!
French onion soup- Drink the morning after
Shot- The Swiss drink a hot shot of brandy with a hint of peppermint
Russian black read- Russian ppl drink heavily slated cucumber juice (what) and black bread soaked in water. Typical russians, eating soggy bread and vegetable slate.
Sauerkraut- Drink a glass of sauerkraut juice!
Almonds- American Indians would eat 6 raw almonds before drinking to prevent hangovers
Chicken Noodle Soup- duh, whatever
Pu-Erh Tea- An Asian tea thought to “counteract the unpleasant effects of alcohol”
Bitters & Seltzer- Mix lots of bitters with sparkling mineral water to settle the stomach, and reduce the spins and a headache
Steam- Steam-induced sweating at the sauna
Birch Branches- Russians whip themselves vigorously with birch branches to stimulate blood circulation. You couldn’t have just stopped with the black bread.
Pickle juice- the sourer the better. Poland drunks do this.
Prickly pear extract- Take it before drinking and supposedly you will suffer less nausea, cottonmouth and inflammation.
Mustard bath- Mustard is known to increase circulation and draw toxins from your organs. Use mustard powder to create a bath solution and soak in your mustard water.
Wasabi bath- Wasabi increases circulation, oxygenates your cells, and gets rid of toxins. Infuse it into a warm bath.
Coffee coated lemon wedge- Tsar Nicholas II swore by eating a lemon wedge, coated with sugar and ground coffee
Banana + Carrot + Tomato- Eat, in order, a banana, a carrot, and a tomato. Follow with a shot of vodka, a bit of tabasco, and some milk.
Pray- Pray to Saint Vivian, patron saint of hangovers and torture victims. Same thing. The prayer to Saint Vivian to cure your hangover goes like this: O merciful Saint Vivian, I ask you that you relieve my nausea, sooth my aching head and calm my upset stomach. I also ask that you protect me from any loud noises or bright lights and provide me with the sense to avoid further episodes of excessive imbibing. Amen.
Pour buttermilk over your head- Gladly.
The Thomas Abercrombie- Two Alka-Seltzers dropped into a double shot of tequila.
Egg drink + Icy hole- A raw egg; six shakes of Worcester Sauce; six drops of tabasco; two tablespoons of tomato juice; one of very dry sherry; a dash of celery salt and smear of paprika; two ice cubes all stirred with loving gentleness. Down in one, plunge through an ice hole into a river (a cold shower will do, just) and then eggs, bacon, fried bread and tea (not coffee).
Artichoke juice- SUPPOSEDLY via a very reliable looking website with graphic flames as the background, the French government has banned artichoke juice because it could encourage drunk driving.
Rose oil- a drop of rose oil on each temple
Butter- eat a stick of butter before going out drinking.